“Let’s talk about Centennial Valley,” I said. “It needs to happen by mid-September or it’ll be too late for harmless. September 23 is father Fred’s birthday, I think.”
“I read it’s the 26th,” Bill said. “I’ve talked with the Manager of the U’s facilities in Lakeview. They have space available in September, which is nearly ideal for early school year events.”
“Terrific. I’ve been doing the homework on Bill Koch’s Oxbridge Academy of the Palm Beaches in West Palm Beach, especially on the science and environmental studies teachers and courses. I’ve made contact with several who are very interested. I’m now working on getting the idea to Bill Koch, perhaps via his wife or son. School starts in early September. Once we book the school – and hopefully Bill – then we can work on his brothers.”
Koch Industries’ Matador Cattle Company operates three ranches: Beaverhead near Yellowstone National Park in Montana, Spring Creek in the Flint Hills of Kansas, and Matador Ranch in Texas. Beaverhead Ranch is located on more than a quarter million acres in Southwest Montana. It stretches along a 90-mile road from Dillon to the Idaho border then east to Yellowstone Park.
It was acquired between 1941 and 1952 by Fred C. Koch and today totals nearly a half million acres of owned or leased land.
The U’s Taft-Nicholson Environmental Humanities Education Center (T-N Center) is located in Montana’s Centennial Valley, a 6,000 foot high and 60 mile wide wetlands east of the Continental Divide on the North slope of the Centennial Mountains, an East-West range. The Center is named for John and Melody Taft and their friends the Nicholsons.
The Valley includes the Red Rock Lakes National Wildlife Refuge, created in 1935 by Franklin D. Roosevelt, to provide habitat for the trumpeter swan, then facing extinction. The swans now thrive in the refuge.
“The Centennial Valley refuge is really beautiful,” Bill noted. “The majestic Centennial Mountains are on the South, forming part of the Idaho-Montana border.”
“Refuges have been in the news,” Jay said, “especially the Malheur one in SE Oregon, where God apparently sent Emmon Bundy to occupy it and throw out the Feds.”
“Did you see the cool Bagley cartoon on ‘I am doing God’s will’? Bill asked.
“Yes,” I said. “God not only sends Bundy, but also ISIS, Kony, Boka Haram, and Warren Jeffs, among others.”
“I wonder who He’ll send next?” Jay smiled, seriously.
“The New York Times op-ed on Myth vs Anger, regarding the Feds and Western lands, tries to put the ‘protest’ in historical – and economic -perspective.”
“And it recently turned bloody. A 55 year old rancher named Lavoy Finicum, with eleven kids, was shot resisting arrest.”
A recent Times op-ed by Quammen provides some perspective. She had earlier interviewed the Bundys, writing:
…a sense of entitlement that they believe is anchored in their deep history in the region. They also embrace a strange amalgamation of Mormonism, libertarianism and a rightwing reading of the Constitution.
The Times also noted that the Bundy Facebook page was providing updates on the Malheur protest, including a brief eulogy for Finicum addressed to Federal officials: ‘You cannot defeat us. Our blood is seed’.
“The ‘our blood is seed’ phrase is often used by those promoting martyrdom,” Bill said. “Pope Francis has even used it.”
“I see another interpretation,” I said. “Finicum has eleven kids. Clyde Bundy has fourteen. I recall a quote in Weisman’s book, Countdown – on overpopulation. He quoted Yassar Arafat as saying ‘The Palestine Liberation Organization’s best weapon is the Palestinian womb’.”
“Suggesting that Mormons and other far right folks may also be using overbreeding for political ends,” Jay added.
“You said it,” Bill smiled.
“Brain washing is something all parents do – often inadvertently,” I said. “The kids tend to grow up with the values and politics of their parents. Only in mid-adolescence, assuming they are not already rigid believers, do they begin to question and rebel.”
“Why is why young Mormons go on missions and the far right folks are so adamant about home ‘schooling’,” Jay added.
“Yes, which reminds me of a great teacher quote by Amanda Waterhouse,” I said, “ – a letter from a teacher to parents:
Dear Parent or Guardian:
I have your child.
Be assured, he is physically fine,
But he is in great danger: his mind is exposed,
his thoughts vulnerable.
I threaten the ideas you taught him.
You will see your child at night, early mornings, and weekends,
but the rest of his time belongs to me.
I am not asking for money or making demands.
Like it or not, I will change him;
and when I am done,
He will be a little less yours.
“That’s so cool,” Bill said.
Adjacent to the Red Rocks Refuge Visitor Center is the T-N Center. Frank Carter is the Bozeman-based regional director for communications and development for the Taft-Nicholson Center. Speaking with great enthusiasm about the Center and about John and Melody Taft, he calls it the ‘perfect collision’ of sciences and humanities. The Center is surrounded by the Red Rock Lakes National Wildlife Refuge and close to the Koch’s Matador Ranch. One of the Center’s goals is to educate and empower a generation of environmental leaders. Carter says:
What we’re trying to do here is create those big ideas as a community of
people by bridging the sciences and humanities. I think it’s critical work. It’s the work of
Author and poet Terry Tempest Williams, on the U’s Environmental Humanities faculty, participates regularly in the Center’s summer courses, workshops, and meetings. Referring to the recent Reimagine Western Landscapes Symposium, in which the Times Timothy Egan also participated, she said:
I think that our greatest task is to listen to the land, to the people who have been here a long time and to the wildlife. This is a place of refuge and I think we have to remind ourselves of that and be respectful of that. I see it as a privilege. I see it as a story emerging.
One of her books is called Refuge.
The Center is open June through October and hosts an average of 300 participants per season. It is located between West Yellowstone and Montana’s Interstate 15, 28 miles east of Monida. Driving in from the Interstate, from the West on South Valley Road, you pass the Koch Brother’s Beaverhead Ranch. David Nick and his wife Jessica manage the cattle operation and have attended lectures at the Center.
John Taft first experienced the Valley in 1964, on a National Audubon Society project. A Big Sky Journal article recently covered part of the history. Realizing the Valley was half in private hands, Taft returned to the Valley in 1972 and purchased property on which he and Melody built a home. He also bought Lakeview, a ghost town which was on the Stagecoach run from West Yellowstone to the west. The Tafts worked hard to protect much of the Valley from development by encouraging the purchase of private lands by Federal agencies, The Nature Conservancy, and private individuals who implemented conservation easements. They repaired and renovated the structures at Lakeview and built log cabins to accommodate guests. After an enormous amount of work, they realized that the facility could be best used via a University connection. The Montana schools they approached were not interested – then.
“The U’s then new President and its Dean of Humanities did have some interest. The U had its Environmental Humanities program, but no field or ‘laboratory’ facility,” Bill noted. “The meetings and discussions started. Our friend Merry, who by then had left The Leonardo, helped encourage the relationship, and the T-N Center came into being. It’s now a satellite campus of the U – in another state!”
“And it’s been a great success. You were the connector. Congratulations!” I said. “And maybe now the Center and Centennial Valley can help save the planet – via harmless.”
“William, the Connector – that’s me,” Bill laughed.
“Back to Bill Koch and Oxbridge Academy,” I said. “Bill is the founder and the money behind Oxbridge; its President and CEO is Bob Parsons. They now have a formal Montana connection! Oxbridge students are doing fieldwork in Yellowstone National Park via the Missoula-based Ecology Project International (EPI). The Oxbridge effort is led by a Dr. Teresa Thornton, a science-environment teacher at the Academy.”
“So doing something with the T-N Center and the Red Rock Lakes Refuge should be an easy sell,” Bill said.
“I hope so.”
“The challenge is to make the trip and event happen this year while harmless is still operational,” Jay cautioned.
“Well, if the kids are going to Yellowstone anyway, via the EPI gig, perhaps we can talk EPI into routing through the T-N Center, where they might interact with both the Wildlife Refuge staff and the T-N folks, as well as perhaps participate in a reception hosted by the Kochs and their Ranch. EPI’s main office is in Missoula – that could be where the Oxbridge activity trip might originate.”
Montana is also the home of VoteSmart, www.votesmart.org , founded by Richard Kimball in 1992. VoteSmart works with interns to provide information on candidates for responsible and interested voters.
In 1986 Kimball ran unsuccessfully for one of Arizona’s two U.S. Senate seats. In a candidate’s debate, he described the campaign process to prospective voters:
Understand what we do to you. We spend all of our time raising money, often from strangers we do not even know. Then we spend it in three specific ways: First we measure you, what it is you want to purchase in the political marketplace — just like Campbell’s soup or Kellogg’s cereal. Next, we hire some consultants who know how to tailor our image to fit what we sell. Lastly, we bombard you with the meaningless, issueless, emotional nonsense that is always the result. And whichever one of us does that best will win.
He lost the 1986 election to John McCain.
VoteSmart established its headquarters and research center in 1999 at the Great Divide Ranch near Philipsburg, Montana. About halfway between Missoula and Butte and NW of Dillon, it is in near wilderness, accessed via the town of Phillipsburg. The staff and interns mostly live at the ranch in rugged conditions, working largely for room and board. They have produced a web-based resource with a range of current and effective tools for voters.
“You told me you visited them some years ago,” Bill recalled.
“Yes. Diana and I were driving from Portland to Victor, Idaho to attend a friend’s wedding. We routed through Phillipsburg to visit VoteSmart and on to Lakeview to experience the Refuge and the U’s T-N Center.”
“The T-N Center was just getting up and running. John Taft took us on an incredible jeep tour of the entire area.”
“He sure likes driving that jeep!” Bill smiled.
“I tried to connect Kimball and the T-N Center, since they are not that far apart, but I don’t think they ever connected. At that time I didn’t know about EPI or we would have visited them, too.”
“Montana is an interesting place, with some very creative and independent-minded folks. We’ll need to invite their delegation to our T-N /Beaverhead Ranch event,” Bill suggested.
Montana’s senators are Democrat Jon Tester and Republican Steve Daines. Daines was elected in 2014 . He is very conservative. The state’s single at-large Representative, first elected 2014, is Ryan Zinke. His ideology and leadership scores are in the middle of the GOP distribution – an average Republican. His office locations include Missoula and Helena. Tester is a fairly conservative Democrat. He said recently, regarding GOP stonewalling of any Obama Court nominee:
this is why people hate the Senate. Elections are about accountability. We have a job to do and we need to do our job. People are going to ask … Why aren’t you doing your job?
He has offices in Bozeman and Butte. He is a farmer and a former music teacher.
Daines has a BSc in Chemical Engineering from Montana State. He and wife Cindy live in Bozeman; they have four children: David, Annie, Michael and Caroline. Daines’ Washington DC office hosts a one hour coffee breakfast for the delegation and visitors when the Senate is in session.
Zinke, Tester, and Daines all represent Beaverhead County in SW Montana; they should know about Beaverhead Ranch, the T-N Center, the Red Rock National Wildlife Refuge, EPI, and VoteSmart.
I proceeded to contact and talk with the EPI people in Missoula and – at nearly the same time – with Teresa Thompson at Oxbridge, suggesting the Centennial Valley and T-N resources. I also sent a note to Bill Koch, via the school’s CEO, his good friend Bob Parsons, noting the Ranch, T-N Center, and Wildlife Refuge connections with Oxbridge and the Missoula group. I referred to Bill Koch’s father, Fred, his Sept. 26 birthday, and to Bill’s own writings about his father and the ranch. I also suggested that Bill’s kids and grandkids might enjoy seeing the place that helped form Bill – and that helped save the trumpeter swan. I also suggested that his twin brother David and his family might like to participate. Then I waited.
While waiting I contacted Vanessa Rogers, a reporter-writer for Florida Weekly, and suggested a story on Bill Koch’s and Oxbridge’s Montana connections – and on the Beaverhead Ranch where Bill spent five summers working very hard – also that his boat (one of them) is named Matador – for the Texas ranch. I also contacted Lisa Rab at New Times Broward – Palm Beach; she did an extensive 2011 story on Bill’s legacy. I suggested she do a follow up and mentioned the Montana – Oxbridge connection; I said the same to Alex Leary, Tampa Bay Times, who did a 2014 story on Bill.
“And, surprise!” I said. “In doing the Oxbridge homework, I learned they just hosted a Sea Level Rise Symposium.”
“A Koch brother is now hosting talks on sea level rise?” Jay asked. “Maybe he is concerned about his own Palm Beach mansion and property.”
“Doesn’t that have something to do with climate change?” Bill smiled.
“And CO2?” Jay continued. “And doesn’t twin brother David also have a mansion nearby, which will also start going underwater?”
“He does – about two miles away.”
The Oxbridge Academy and Youth Environmental Alliance hosted the 3rd annual Sea Level Rise Symposium some months ago. During the daylong symposium, participants worked to build resiliency and reduce carbon emissions. Topics included new energy policies, social and environmental justice, and adapting to change. Workshops included coastal restoration, disaster preparedness, and local artists reflecting on climate change.
“And this was in Marco Rubio’s Florida – just up the road from Miami?” Jay asked, smiling again.
“Yes, and some months later – in December, it was 75 degrees in New Hampshire and New York City. Rubio’s poor kids didn’t see snow during a New Hampshire campaign gig,” I said.
“And, about the same time, the New Yorker ran Elizabeth Kolbert’s article on The Siege of Miami,” Bill said. “- a seige via sea, of course.”
“If Rubio’s nominated, he’ll pull his head out of the denier sand in time to try to compete with Hillary,” Jay added.
“Sure, he can cite his climate change – related work in the Florida legislature – and Florida’s ‘new’ reality,” Bill said.
“We’ve got competition,” Jay said, “from movies and TV – and from Stephen Colbert.”
“How so?” Bill asked.
We were meeting again at Coffee Noir, sitting outside – it was unseasonably warm.
“There’s a film, called Limitless, and now a TV show with the same name, which uses brain enhancement.”
“And our competition?” I asked.
“The key character takes ‘NZT’, which allows him to greatly enhance the use of his brain. It allows him to access music, language, observation, and analysis skills way, way beyond the normal.”
“And the NZT – sounds like a new neurodrug?” I asked.
“No details, only that it’s hard to get unless he cuts some sort of devil’s bargain – details to come as the series progresses.”
“And NZT is fiction, right – doesn’t exist?” Bill asked.
“Apparently so. It would be a great adjunct to MDMA,” I said. “MDMA for the empathy, openness, and compassion – NZT for great mental and intellectual skills.”
“If it did exist, it would be illegal.”
“But while on NZT the character is so smart, he helps the FBI solve difficult crimes. It reminds me of Cumberbatch’s Sherlock – his savant-like mind processing data and connections at incredible rates. So now the FBI will be interested for its agents and for law enforcement, of course.”
“Sounds to me like MK-Ultra has come full circle,” I smiled.
“That was the sixties era Army – CIA truth serum work, right?” Jay asked.
“Yes, based mainly on LSD. We talked about it briefly many months ago – and now a modern version is on TV. Cool!”
“Maybe NZT is a new CIA/NSA – funded agent?” Jay smiled.
“Both Cheney and Kissinger are still alive, so anything is possible,” I said.
“And that’s what Colbert suggested the other day,” Jay smiled. “He said many of the ISIS terrorists are likely on meth, making them feel powerful and invincible.”
“I’ve heard that before – it’s a reasonable supposition,” I said. “There’s an old drug, Captagon – actually a pro-drug, which is both meth and caffeine. Fighters and terrorists like to take it. It’s apparently quite popular among the Syria ISIS guys.”
“There’s more. At the end of his short Tonight Show segment, Colbert suggested ‘bombing’ ISIS-active areas with Ecstasy pills – to make them feel compassionate and empathetic – much less aggressive.”
“A Cruz ‘carpet bombing’ plan that might actually work!”
“Did Colbert do any follow up – like asking the Secretary of Defense to comment?” Bill asked.
“Not yet. Perhaps he got some negative backlash about promoting illegal drugs.”
“Illegal drugs that should be legal – to fight ISIS.”
“And to fight the Tea Party!”
“Does Colbert’s skit now make us followers rather than leaders?”
“We’re not followers or leaders – we’re implementers,” I said. “And it’s now time for us to implement rapidly. We’ve got our patients selected; we know quite a bit about each of them; the party season is nearly here; and the NSA world is distracted by ISIS and domestic terrorism.”
“And by Trump, Cruz, and Rubio – and now David Duke.”
“We’ll send Colbert a heads up as soon as we’re finished delivering Ananda’s treatments,” Bill said, “- and thanki him for his thoughtful and practical suggestion.”
We understood that there will be situations where Ananda’s Chocolates may not work as a delivery method. Lucien and Peter had worked on another approach which could be easily made, transported, and used somewhat unobtrusively: MDMA powder in Parmesan cheese – ideal for Italian dinners or even salads. They chose a somewhat spicy and salty Parmesan flavor – from Trader Joe’s – to more effectively mask the bitterness of the MDMA. Roughly a tablespoon – or two – of the Parmesan provides a good dose of MDMA, assuming most of it is ingested.
When we learned that Paul Ryan likes Clif Bars, we tried, unsuccessfully, to learn his favorite types and flavors. We have now acquired several of their many different products, including mini-bars, and developed ways to get MDMA into and onto them – as well as how to open the package, remove the contents, reinsert our modified bar, and reseal. We were getting good at this.
“I love the Parmesan brand – map of Italy, flag, and a pasta dish.”
“You know, once harmless is over and when MDMA becomes as legal as marijuana, we’ll have a cool business.”
“Let’s hope so,” I said. “Colbert could be an investor.”
The initial background work on the selected 29 was now complete. We needed to assign responsibilities and to continue the research on each subject. We need to know and understand them in order to most effectively deliver Ananda’s materials and insure an effective treatment.
“We needed to get to three of them right away,” Bill said.
“It’s a good thing we, rather, you, got to Boehner early; our effort may have impacted his interactions with the Pope – and his resignation from Congress,” I said.
“And your treatment probably aided in his efforts at getting the budget and debt issues partially resolved before then handing the gavel to Paul Ryan,” Jay said.
“Boehner said that the Pope’s Washington, D.C. visit was the highlight of his career in Congress,” Bill continued.
“And it’s good we got to McCarthy early as well, because he was – and is – Majority Leader in the House. His therapy likely had some effect on his actions, too,” Jay said.
“YOU got to McCarthy,” I smiled.
“And Bill also got to Ryan. He did two needy birds – Boehner and Ryan – in one trip.”
“Which is the efficient way for us to proceed,” I said. “Plan and focus on a major target – but also deal with other needy targets in the same area on the same trip.”
“One air fare, one car rental, perhaps one night in a motel,” Bill smiled.
“Good plan,” Jay said. “Now we need to get to the rest of them.”
“And quickly,” I said. “Once our chocolate gifts start to become known, they’ll get more curious – and start asking questions. The sooner we do the treatments, the better.”
When harmless realized that the Freedom Caucus was threatening Boehner, just before the Pope’s visit, and as the speculation began as to a replacement if Boehner was forced out, we immediately fast-tracked the treatment for Boehner, McCarthy, and Ryan. Bill went off to Dayton and Janesville, and Jay off to Bakersfield, with our then very limited supply of Ananda’s Chocolates. We hadn’t even finished the labeling.
“How did you ‘access’ Boehner?” I asked.
“In Andy’s bar-cafe in his district. Boehner worked there as a kid. My experience in rowdy Australian pubs came in handy,” Bill said. “Talk about a blue collar world! Boehner wouldn’t take a chocolate just for him – he insisted on some for his bar mates.”
“So how many did you treat?”
“Three plus Boehner. Most beer drinkers aren’t too keen on chocolates. But the wine drinkers are responsive. Boehner’s a fan of Merlot, remember?”
“Any effects?” I asked.
“Not immediately, of course, but I left about fifteen minutes later. I had a beer with them. Plus, I was out of chocolates,” Bill responded.
“Well, a week or so later he looked even more teary than his usual self – and even compassionate – when with the Pope,” I observed. “And then – almost as soon as the Pope boarded his plane back to Rome – Boehner resigned!”
“I do think Ananda had something to do with it.”
“It was good you could get to McCarthy before he was to be elected Speaker,” I said – looking at Jay.
“Bakersfield’s not my favorite place, but I think it worked. Good chocolates are somewhat rare there.”
“How’d you get to him – via the local office?”
“Yes, his Bakersfield office. It was actually through a staffer. The poor guy was bored and happy to have someone to talk with.”
“Cool, but how did you get his confidence and trust?”
“I said I was from Utah – and curious about Valley Fever. McCarthy’s constituents are all scared of it, for good reason.”
“I read that he’s even attended some workshops and meetings on the problem.”
“Well, that’s all it took. The kid was immediately responsive – said he’d be sure to give the chocolates to McCarthy and his wife.”
“Great. And how did you get to Ryan?” I asked Bill.
“Same trip as for Boehner. I flew from Dayton to Milwaukee – then by car to Janesville. I had previously checked out his schedule via the Janesville office – and learned he likes the Citrus Cafe, lunching there regularly with staff. He, too, wouldn’t accept without some for his staff at the table. Fortunately, I had – to use Sara Palin’s phrase – reloaded – with Ananda’s Chocolates.”
“And maybe Ryan’s treatment helped him decide to take the call to be Speaker – to do something very significant for Congress and Country.”
“It apparently helped him loosen up – and grow that new beard,” Jay smiled.
When Boehner was in the process of resigning as Speaker, in response to the strong arm pressures of the hard right Freedom Caucus, he was very concerned as to who might replace him. He knew McCarthy was the likely leading candidate, but apparently wanted better. So he worked on Paul Ryan, telling him
You have no choice, this isn’t about what you want to do, this is about what God wants you to do, and God told me he wants you to do this. Ryan is also a Catholic. Boehner said, later, in an interview ‘I laid every ounce of Catholic guilt I could on him’.
“Perhaps there’s some hope for Ryan,” Bill said, smiling. “In his ‘Agenda’ speech to Congress, he said ‘… we have to make sure populism doesn’t trump individual rights…. It’s a distraction to prey on fears’.”
“Was that before or after he said ‘ … you turn on the TV and you see ISIS, you see San Bernardino and you see all these security threats, and it’s like the world is on fire’?” I asked.
“Just after – right at the end of the speech – a good, positive note.”
“He also said in the same speech, ‘I come from the pro-growth wing of the Republican movement’. His Libertarian-based fantasies will be difficult to correct,” I said.
“Maybe he needs a second dose,” Bill recommended.
We agreed we needed to get to the five chosen Supreme Court Justices before the beginning of the Court’s fall term – and that the Red Mass venue would likely not be productive. So we focused on their public schedule. Thanks to SCOTUSmap.org we had reviewed their entire lecture schedule and already had selected those events and locations most efficient and effective for harmless.
We reviewed the full 29 patients we had selected and studied and began the process of planning how to access and treat every one of them.
“If we access them in their home states, that means visiting 17 different states – probably over a two to three week period,” I said.
“But that’s not all. Each trip can be used to treat perhaps several additional patients – others with offices nearby who also need treatment,” I said. “And that takes more research, study, and planning.”
“And there’s New York City for David Koch. Washington, D.C. may be the best location for our five Supreme Court Justices,” Bill mentioned.
“As well as for LaPierre, Norquist, and cancer-salesman Donohue,” I added.
“Jay, could you get to Kentucky right away?” I asked. “McConnell is critical to the 2016 budget process and needs to be more cooperative with Ryan than he ever was with Boehner.”
“Consider it done,” Jay said. “I’ll finish the homework and make reservations right away. And I’ll try to treat several other relevant Kentucky folks on the same trip.”
“Do include Rand Paul.”
“I’ll try to get to Scalia’s gig at the U of Santa Clara. He’s to visit a constitutional law class and to speak to students, staff, and faculty in the university’s Recital Hall. I’ll be in Fremont checking in on my Mom – she should be celebrating her 95th birthday at nearly the same time,” I said.
“Wow. Those are good genes,” Bill said.
“I hope so. Hopefully I’ve inherited some of her longevity. This project has taken much longer than I’d envisioned. And the next one is even harder.”
“We won’t ask,” Jay smiled.
“If Santa Clara doesn’t work, then I’ll arrange my DC visit to synch with one of Scalia’s DC gigs – perhaps the Georgetown Law lecture.”
“I’ll be up around Minneapolis for harmless soon, so if needed I could arrange to get to his Minnesota Law School Stein lecture.”
“Maybe do several,” Jay smiled. “He’ll need at least several treatments.”
“What about security?” Bill asked.
“Fortunately for us, the Times had a short piece on Justice travels and security,” I noted. “When the justices leave Washington, the US Marshals Service takes over, and local police departments help, too. When Thomas lectured at the U of Florida attendees were screened and their cell phones had to be checked before entering the room.”
“On Kennedy, I have to get back to Issa in Southern California,” Bill said, “so I can get to Kennedy’s Anaheim Marriott event.”
“He’s receiving a medal from the California State Bar, so it may be highly restricted,” I cautioned. “But do try.”
“I’ll try to make friends with some of the Marriott serving staff – it’s probably a lunch or dinner event.”
“I can arrange to get to his Human Rights Beacon Prize gig in Washington, DC,” I said. “That’ll probably be less restricted.”
“Please do, just in case I can’t access him. And two separate doses can’t hurt,” Jay said, again smiling.
“Regarding Thomas, the SCOTUS listed gig I saw is perfect – a BYU dinner in Salt Lake at the Gross America Hotel,” I said.
“You do mean the Grand America?” Bill asked.
“Of course. I call it gross because it’s so ostentatious and overdone. The event is a Founders Day dinner sponsored by the BYU Law School. I’ll see if I can get one of my U law school friends to get me in.”
“A substantive donation to BYU Law should suffice,” Jay said.
“Right. I’m not above that – it’s for a good cause.”
“Look for Mike Lee there – he’s an alumnus.”
“If you do get to Thomas – and his Mrs. – give them each two,” Bill advised.
“Roberts doesn’t seem to have much on his speaking and appearance schedule,” I said. “SCOTUS only noted one upcoming event – at the NYU Law School on Washington Square South in New York City. I’ll try to get to him there – before or after working on David and Julia Koch.”
“There have to be other gigs. He’s a popular and charismatic speaker. There should be other gigs coming up,” Bill said.
“I think so, too.”
“Alito likes to talk even more than Scalia,” I said. “He has lots of events on SCOTUS.”
“Well, he’s much younger and probably more energetic,” Jay suggested.
“If he’s easy to access, two separate doses could really do him some good,” Bill added.
“He has several upcoming events in DC and one in New York City,” I said. “I can arrange to get to one or more of those. One of the DC gigs is a Moot Court Competition, where I assume he’ll be judging briefs and presentations.”
“I noticed he’s doing a two day meeting at Notre Dame in Indiana – a book review and discussion with law students,” Bill said. “I’ll be back in that vicinity soon and could get to those if needed.”
“And those are likely to be more open and accessible,” I said. “I’ll let you know if we need to go there.”
“That’s it for our five Supreme Court Justices – for now. We should be able to easily get to all five via the public gigs. The challenge is to get them treated before the fall court sessions get fully underway,” I said.
“It looks like it’s you and me for the Supreme Court,” Bill said. “I’m on it.”
“While we’re on the travel needs and plans,” I said, handing a thick envelope to Bill and one to Jay, “these each have $5,000 in hundred dollar bills. Deposit it in your personal accounts. Be careful in how you use your credit cards to book the trips. Maybe routing via PayPal or a related service might help slow down the snoops. I’m sure you’ll go through that amount and them some for the therapy trips. I suggest trying to use cash for the rental car and hotel fees, unless it’s just too cumbersome.”
“We each need to visit three or four states,” Jay said, “because Tom can’t travel, and Lucien would rather not travel – he’s beat up his body playing soccer and can’t stand long plane trips. I’m game, of course. What do you suggest?”
“How about I do Utah, Colorado, Washington D.C., Florida, New York City, and South Carolina? Bill – you continue to cover Ohio, California, and Wisconsin, and add Iowa and Kansas? Jay – you’re dealing with Kentucky and West Virginia – and can you also do Texas and Oklahoma? Peter has some travel constraints, too – but he’s working with Saul and Lucien to do Idaho, Washington, and Wyoming.”
“And how do those relate to our 29?” Jay asked.
I summarized the States, the assignments, and the 29 priority patients.
Diana and I rented a small home for a week, to spend New Year’s with Lucien and our Portland family. A beautiful clear, sunny cold day. We just had to hike the Neahkahnee Mountain trail – so we did. Peter shared the MDMA trip experience his friend had some months ago, using the capsule provided to me six months earlier. She said it was not an ecstatic experience, that it was uncomfortable, introspective, and not pleasant. She added that it was empowering in the sense that it allowed her to consider some fairy tale – like aspects of life and deal with it more realistically – as it really is. We discussed the issues associated with off-the-street sources and with individual responses to the experience.
Peter and his brother-in-law, Saul, whose mother lives in Boise, agreed to visit Raul Labrador’s office. They’re working on the best date – to hopefully matchup with a weather window and with holiday parties by Labrador. They want to drive. The weather in Eastern Oregon, and even SE Idaho, can be very problematic during the holidays. Saul is familiar with the Idaho all Republican delegation, including Representative Mike Simpson and Senators Risch and Crapo.
Peter’s interested in the Washington delegation, so, he’ll do Washington’s evangelical Congresswoman Cathy Rodgers in Walla Walla. They’ll also get to Dan Newhouse in Richland, and Jaime Beutler in Vancouver.
This one road trip can access two Idaho Senators and five Idaho/Washington Representatives.
“Raul Labrador has a small stable of kids, some fairly young. We want to minimize the possibility – the risk – of excess dosing – or ingestion by small children,” I said.
“I’ve been considering that,” Lucien said. “The template will include a field for restriction or caution. We can use phrases like Only One! For Adults Only! Recommended Dose – One per adult per day.”
“I like ‘For Adults Only – but Only One!”
“OK – we’ll use that as the default entry for that field – we can easily change it.’ Lucien continued: “Given the patients selected and our homework, I’ve been thinking about how to use the brand to facilitate their acceptance of the treatment (the chocolate) and their transition to a more empathic perspective.”
“Great. Go on,” I said.
“The brand needs to reflect and recognize their conservative bent and suggest a more empathic, compassionate, direction – without being overly obvious or threatening.”
Lucien does know something about marketing – and design. He went on: “Assuming even the most hard-nosed deniers are ‘softening’ their denial, but are too politically fearful to admit it, I don’t think we should overplay their existing hard right stands – so I suggest revising our brand ideas.” He showed us:
Freedom and Liberty
Heavenly (for evangelicals?)
For Adults Only!
Ayn Rand Collection.
We reviewed the information on Idaho’s Labrador, as well as on Simpson, Risch, and Crapo, and Washington’s Newhouse, and Beutler.
We agreed that we need to be very familiar with the ideology, positions, opinions, legislation, etc of every Congressperson’s office we visit. . The staffers we talk with will likely be of very similar political persuasions. We have to seduce them with our knowledge of and commitment to such persuasions, so they feel comfortable with us and with our reason for visiting the office.
“You – we – need to review the Congressperson’s .gov website just before each office visit, to carefully check recent press releases, statements, interviews, etc. We need to be absolutely up to date on what they are believing and saying.”
“Let’s walk through several delivery scenarios,” I continued. “I’ll be a staffer in the local office. You come in the door without an appointment. You walk in the door – pleasant and modestly well dressed, and ask – since most of our therapy visits will be after Congress recesses – is Congresswoman Rodgers in or likely to be in this afternoon?”
“No, sorry. She normally works out of her Spokane office,” I – the fake staffer – said, continuing “This office mainly deals with constituent requests and needs. But I could get a message or note to her.”
“And perhaps a small holiday treat? We – and our wives – just want to say how much we appreciate her work. We also hope and expect her to run again in 2016. This is for her and her husband – just a small recognition and thanks for her hard work,” Peter said, handing him (me) a small package containing two doses and Ananda’s card.
“Well, she normally doesn’t accept gifts, but as it is near Christmas,” fake staffer said, “perhaps she’ll make an exception. I’ll put it in the envelope for the courier. It smells like chocolate?”
“It is chocolate – a special new brand, Ananda’s Chocolates. Supplies are still limited, so there’s just one for her – and one for her husband.”
“It does have a delightful smell. I should do some due diligence on source and contents,” fake staffer smiled.
“Just go to www.anandaschocolates.com . The taste is incredible. The best due diligence is to open and taste; this smaller sample is for you.”
“Thank you.” He carefully opened the half-dose sample, unwrapping the tissue, seeing and picking up the folded mini-insert, and then opened the foil, smelled the chocolate, and slowly consumed it, smiling. “Wow, it really is delicious. It even seems to relax me.”
“Good chocolate does that – makes you feel relaxed, even blissful. There’s some information on the insert,” Peter said, pointing it out. “Chocolate, in small quantities, can be very good for you,” Peter finished, preparing to leave.
“I believe that,” fake staffer said. “Merry Christmas to you both. Before you go, do sign our Visitor Book – and note that you left the chocolate samples.”
“Sure. Say, I may have to get up to Spokane next week. Might she be in that office then?”
“Call them directly when you know your schedule,” Mr. Fake Staffer said, handing out cards. “They’ll know her schedule. And by then she’ll certainly have received the courier delivery.”
“Your fake staffer act reminds me of an old Rachel Maddow report or skit,” Jay said. “Some days after the 2010 BP oil blowout in the Gulf, she did a Fake President Oval Office speech to the nation. Terrific. It’s exactly what Obama should have done – but didn’t.”
“I remember that,” Bill said. “That link went viral – we all got it several times.”
We discussed several other possible scenarios, including:
“Sorry – she can’t accept any gifts, even simple snacks or candies.”
We might respond with:
“Many Congressmen have candies, chocolates, other snacks available for their visitors – why not something from a visitor? Chief Justice John Roberts has chocolates, Ronald Reagan had M and M’s, I think. Speaker Paul Ryan has mini-Clif Bars.”
“And if the staffer still refuses,” I said, “give him or her a sample and Ananda’s card. We can then attempt to follow up with a mailing and direct note, saying something like:
“We tried to thank you for your wonderful work – in words and in chocolate – at the Walla Walla office, but the staff said they couldn’t accept it for you. So here you are. Please enjoy a unique Ananda’s Chocolate. Thanks for all you do so well.”
When we had to sign a Visitors List, we used the addresses of a VRBO property we found in the districts represented by our various patients, and the names of people who had rented the property and provided ratings and evaluations. Lucien made up and printed a dozen or so fake business cards for Ananda’s Chocolates and for the VRBO-based names and addresses we used – for every one of our patients. We destroyed the extra cards after the contact was made.
We left no email trail. We paid for gas via cash – no VISA card transaction trail. We had the GPS off on our cars and phones. And we parked a block or so away from each office so the staff could not see the vehicle nor could most surveillance cameras record it. We tried to dress and look differently from our normal selves, using a variety of wigs, moustaches, facial hair growth, hats, and clothes. We sometimes wore glasses with different frames than we normally use.
“The problem with samples for the staffer is that they may want more,” Jay suggested.
“We can afford to give half-dose samples to others in the office,” I said. “And I don’t think they’d raid the Congressman’s sample. The half-dose should relax them but is unlikely to generate any revelations – it will just assure them that it’s not toxic or otherwise disagreeable.”
“After each visit and delivery, let’s each keep track via Google Alerts of the patient’s statements and actions, looking for any evidence of change or modification in positions or beliefs,” Bill said.
“Let’s start the Google Alerts now, before we make the treks and provide the treatments, so we have a baseline to compare with,” I said. “Set them up over a several week period to perhaps minimize Google itself taking much notice.”
“Or the NSA,” Jay smiled.
We looked at each other, understanding where we were – and where we were going.
Lucien had become a successful chocolatier – he had befriended several chocolate pros in the Portland area and come up with a range of taste types. He and Peter had developed several ways to distribute the MDMA within and throughout the chocolates, masked a bit via other additives and flavors. Lucien and Peter had made the chocolates, packaged the full and half-doses, and distributed them to each of the team – one bag of chocolates for each of the 29 patients visits, as well as several spare bags for other ‘opportunities’.
“Remember our earlier cognitive liberty discussion?” I asked. “And the work of Leicester University’s Charlotte Walsh?”
“Yes. And recently Mexico’s Supreme Court agreed with her with respect to personal use of marijuana,” Bill said.
“The Court opinion said such activities are a basic human right,” Jay added.
“Richard Friedman, a Times columnist, has argued for National Cognitive Therapy. He says:
… the whole point of terrorism [is] to subvert our sense of the normal, to make us afraid of improbable dangers and invite us, in our fear, to overreact in ways that are destructive to our lifestyle and that will not make us any safer.
He thinks our fear easily gets out of hand – and that we need to control it.”
“And what does he suggest?” Bill asked. “A fear-reducing treatment using MDMA?”
“No, he said:
… we need President Obama to be our therapist in chief and give us all a dose of cognitive therapy… Cognitive therapy identifies mistaken and distorted thoughts that
generate distress, and then challenges and corrects them. What the president needs to say to all Americans — over and over — is that although terrible, unpredictable things have happened, the country is not in peril. Such attacks are incapable of destroying us or coming close to bringing down Western civilization.”
“So he said nothing about real cognitive therapy,” Bill said.
“He did say something about the treatment of fear and phobia – in another Times’ piece,” I noted. “But not via an empathogen. He reported on the use of propranolol, a beta blocker sometimes used to ‘treat’ performance anxiety.”
“And a legal drug?” Jay asked.
“Yes. It apparently works via a memory blocking mechanism, involving norepinephrine.”
“Meaning it’s a neuro-drug,” Bill said.
“Yes, again. There are lots of neuro-drugs – some legal and one of the best – MDMA – very illegal. But some of the legal others could be helpful.”
“Psilcybin isn’t legal but it can be more accessible than MDMA – you just grow and harvest the right mushrooms,” Jay said.
“Back to the therapist-in-chief concept,” I said. “Obama’s Oval Office talk after the San Bernardino massacre wasn’t very effective. I don’t think the president is up to serving as the Nation’s Therapist in Chief.”
“Perhaps the head of the FDA or the NIH could be Therapist – and Pharmacist-in-Chief, dispensing MDMA?”
“That would certainly be more effective,” I said. “Actually, Colbert would be the most effective, if we could just get Ananda’s Chocolates to him.”
“Maybe. Let’s at least let Friedman and Obama know harmless is doing real cognitive therapy – via fear awareness and management,” Jay smiled. “And the heads of FDA and the NIH as well.”
“They’ll know, eventually,” Bill said. “Let’s get to work.”
We were now studying each of the 29, state by state, to select the additional collateral patients for those trips. In alphabetical order, by state:
California – Bill: Issa, McCarthy, Justice Kennedy (Scalia via Joe)
Colorado – Joe: Gardner
Florida – Joe: Rubio, Bush, and Koch, Bill
Idaho – Peter: Labrador
Iowa – Bill: Ernst
Kansas – Bill: Koch, Charles
Kentucky – Jay: McConnell, Paul
Montana – Joe, Bill Kochs, Montana Congressmen
New York City – Joe: Koch, David; Justice Roberts
Oklahoma – Jay: Inhofe
South Carolina – Joe: Gowdy
Texas – Jay: Cruz, Smith
Utah – Joe: Lee, Chaffetz
Washington – Peter: Rodgers
Washington DC – Joe: LaPierre, Norquist, Donahue; Justice Alito
West Virginia – Jay: Capito
Wisconsin – Bill: Ryan
Wyoming – Peter: Barasso
California’s primary therapist is Bill, though I’ll get to Scalia in Santa Clara. Bill will get to Issa and perhaps again to McCarthy. Depending on timing and other variables, he might also access:
David Valadao, District 21, elected 2012. Although the district is mainly North of Bakersfield, it includes SE Bakersfield, via a careful gerrymandering. District 21 nearly encircles the city, coming in from the south and east. He has an office in Bakersfield. He is slightly left of the GOP center with a below average leadership score.
Devin Nunes, District 22 includes Tulare, Clovis, and Visalia, and gets close to Fresno. He is slightly left of the GOP center ideologically and above average in leadership. His closest district office is in Visalia, about 80 miles north of Bakersfield. Nunes seems to be fairly reasonable, so he’s not a very high priority for harmless. He was first elected in 2002.
One trip to Fresno or Bakersfield will get us to McCarthy again, and to Valadeo and Nunes.
Dana Rohrabacher is near Issa in District 48, which includes Newport Beach, just north of Issa’s district. He’s so Libertarian that it actually pushes his ideology score slightly to the left of the Republican center. He is an Inhofe-style climate denier. He claims climate change is a hoax – and that a Russian official told him so! He once arm-wrestled Vladimir Putin and is supportive of Russian forays in the Middle East. He ran for Chair of the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology in 2012-2013, together with Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin, but Lamar Smith got the job.
Mimi Walters, District 45, Irvine; elected in 2014. She’s almost a far right Democrat – she’s to the far left of the GOP Govtrack ideology plot. She has an office in Irvine, about 23 miles north of Issa’s office in Dana Point.
One flight in to John Wayne Airport will get us to Issa, Rohrabacher, and Walters.
Colorado’s therapist will be me. Cory Gardner is the primary patient. The others are:
Mike Bennet, Colorado’s other Senator – a Democrat, but on the conservative end of the Democrat distribution, with a low leadership score. He has an office in Denver. Bennet claims to be targeted by Koch money, even though he is already fairly conservative.
Mike Coffman, Republican, is the District 6 Representative; the district includes Aurora (East Denver suburbs). He has an office in Aurora in the SE Denver metro area. Coffman’s ideology score is the average for Republicans.
“Gardner may be salvageable, in spite of his attention from the Koch apparatus,” I said. “His renewable energy interests merit cultivating. I’ll get to him, Coffman, and even Bennett. Although ostensibly a Democrat, Bennett could benefit from some chocolate. One flight to Denver will get me to each of them.”
Florida’s therapist will also be me; the primary patients are Jeb! Bush, Marco Rubio, and perhaps Bill Koch.
Rubio and Bush are in the Miami area; Bill Koch is up in West Palm Beach. Miami and Palm Beach are about 70 miles apart. Florida has one Republican Senator – Rubio, of course. Govtrack places Rubio roughly in the GOP middle with a slightly above average leadership score.
There are 27 Congressional Districts – 17 of which are filled by Republicans, and only two of those are in our Miami – Palm Beach target area:
Carlos Curbello represents District 26. His ideology score is to the left of the GOP center, with a low leadership score. He was elected in 2014. He also has an office in Miami.
Ileana Ros-Lehtinen represents District 27. Elected 1988, her ideology score is the left of the GOP distribution – she’s almost a conservative Democrat. She has a very high leadership score. Her main office is also in Miami.
One trip to Miami gets me to Rubio and Jeanette, Corbello, and Ros-Lehtinen, and possibly to Jeb Bush – and Columba. One short road trip gets me to Bill Koch’s home and Academy in West Palm Beach and to David Koch’s estate, just a mile or so away.
Idaho’s therapy will be via Peter and Saul via a road trip to Boise. Although their primary patient is Labrador, they’ll also try to treat the others in the Idaho all Republican delegation.
Mike Simpson represents District 2, with offices in Lewiston and in Meridian, just west of Boise.
His Govtrack ideology position is roughly in the middle of the GOP distribution. He is
…one of the House’s leading advocates for a new energy policy and a renewed commitment to research and development of improved nuclear energy technologies.
He and his wife of 40 years live in Idaho Falls, home of the Department of Energy’s Idaho National Laboratory – with a focus on nuclear and geothermal energy.
James Risch is a Senator, mild denier, pro-nuclear, anti-EPA, anti-CO2 regulation. He’s been recognized as the ‘Most Conservative’ Senator for two years in a row. He is to the very far right of the GOP Govtrack ideology plot – way out there with Inhofe. His leadership score is essentially zero. Risch was elected to the Senate in 2008, after serving as Idaho’s 31st governor. He serves on five Senate Committees. Risch and his wife Vicki have been married for more than 40 years. They have three married sons and six grandchildren. They live on a ranch outside of Boise. Risch has a Senate office in Boise.
Mike Crapo is Idaho’s senior Senator, in office since 1999. He is to the GOP right and average in leadership via the Govtrack plots. He is a climate change denier and very critical of the EPA. He served as Idaho’s 2nd district Congressman from 1993 to 1999. Crapo is a graduate of Brigham Young University and Harvard Law School. He became the first Mormon to represent Idaho in the Senate. He was unopposed in the 2004 election, a rarity in the Senate, and was re-elected in 2010 with 71% of the vote. In 2013 he voted against the bipartisan Toomey-Manchin Gun Control Amendment, which would expand federal background checks to include gun shows and online sales. Crapo married Susan Diana Hasleton in June 1974 and the couple has five children. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1999 and treated. The cancer recurred in 2005. He advocates early detection tests for cancer and other treatable diseases. His main Idaho office is also in Boise.
Iowa’s therapist is Bill, with Joni Ernst as the primary patient.
Ernst’s offices are in Des Moines, Cedar Rapids, Sioux City, Davenport, and Council Bluffs.
Other needy Iowans include:
Charles Grassley, Senator, elected in 1981, and up for reelection for a 7th term in 2016! He’s in the rough center of the GOP ideology plot with an above average leadership score. He has a major office in Des Moines. He’s a key figure in the McConnell – Obama standoff regarding the nomination and consideration of Scalia’s replacement.
Three of Iowa’s four congressional districts are held by the GOP:
Rod Blum, District 1, NE, Cedar Rapids – not very close to Des Moines; we’ll let him go for now.
David Young, District 3, SW, Des Moines; he’s to the left of average with a low leadership score.
Steve King, District 4, NW, Sioux City, close to Des Moines. He’s far to the right, with a high leadership score. He has an office in Ames, 37 miles north of Des Moines.
One Des Moines trip will cover Ernst, Grassley, Young, and King.
Kansas’ therapy will also be via Bill. The primary target is of course Charles Koch who lives and works in Wichita – in District 4.
Mike Pompeo is the District 4 Republican representative, who’s become somewhat well known for his pompous actions on Gowdy’s Benghazi Committee. Pompeo is quite far to the right on the ideology plot with a slightly above average leadership score. He was first elected in 2010.
Pat Roberts, Senator, elected in 1996. Roberts Ideology is very far right. He has a Wichita office.
Jerry Moran, Senator, elected in 2010, is more in the center of the GOP distribution; he also has a Wichita office.
A visit to Wichita gets harmless to two senators, one very needy representative, and hopefully to Charles Koch.
Kentucky’s able therapist is Jay. McConnell and Paul are his two primary patients.
Rand Paul was Presidential timber, but he’s also a Kentucky Senator. Govtrack rankings place him right of GOP center ideologically, with an average leadership score. He was discussed earlier under Presidential Candidates. His major state office is in Bowling Green.
Brett Guthrie is the District 2 Congressman, covering roughly the central part of the state. His district office is also in Bowling Green. His ideology score is to right of GOP center and sports a high leadership score.
As Mitch McConnell has a major state office in Bowling Green, that seems to be the best access location for harmless.
Montana’s eager therapists are Bill and I, mainly via the Centennial Valley event, which
includes Montana’s Congressional delegation and several other Koch-friendly invitees. The primary targets are Bill and David Koch, perhaps Charles, and their children.
Jon Tester is Montana’s senior Senator – a fairly conservative Democrat. He is a farmer and a former music teacher.
Steve Daines was elected junior Senator in 2014, after serving a term as the state’s Representative. He is very conservative. Daines has a BSc in Chemical Engineering from Montana State. He and wife Cindy live in Bozeman; they have four children: David, Annie, Michael and Caroline. Daines’ Washington DC office hosts a one hour coffee breakfast for the delegation and visitors when the Senate is in session.
Ryan Zinke is the state’s single at-large Representative, first elected 2014. His ideology and leadership scores are in the middle of the GOP distribution – an average Republican.
Zinke, Tester, and Daines all represent Beaverhead County in SW Montana; they should know about the Beaverhead Ranch, the T-N Center, the Red Rock National Wildlife Refuge, EPI, and VoteSmart.
We’ll access them in Lakeview at the T-N facility, assuming they attend.
New York City therapy will be provided by me. My major objective is the treatment of David Koch and his wife Julia, and Chief Justice John Roberts. We do no not plan any additional activity in NYC at this time.
Oklahoma’s therapist is Jay – and the challenging Jim Inhofe is his primary patient.
James Lankford, Oklahoma’s other Senator, was elected in 2014. He has a BSc in Secondary Education from the University of Texas-Austin in 1990, and a master’s in Divinity from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, 1994.
“Lankford has great needs,” I said. “He served in the House for 4 terms. His credentials for that job were running a student ministry for the Oklahoma Baptist Convention for some 14 years. He lists his occupation as ‘youth worker’. Personal faith is one of his core values – and he ‘enjoys shooting’.”
“Jesus,” Jay said. “He’ll need more than one dose.”
“Only one,” I said. “He’ll be up for reelection again in 2016; he’s serving only a partial term.”
Lankford lives in Edmond, an Oklahoma City suburb, with his wife Cindy and their two daughters: Hannah and Jordan; his Federal office is in Oklahoma City.
All five House Districts are held by Republicans:
District 1: Jim Bridenstine; part of NE.
District 2: Mark Wayne Mullin; Eastern Oklahoma.
District 3: Frank Lucas; North and West but near Oklahoma City
District 4: Tom Cole; South part but near Oklahoma City.
District 5: Steve Russell. The District includes Oklahoma City
Russell has a Govtrack ideology score to the left of the GOP center and a very low leadership score. He has an office in Del City, very near Oklahoma City.
Cole’s ideology rating is just right of the GOP center, with an average leadership score. His Norman office is the closest to Oklahoma City, but not particularly convenient
Lucas has an average GOP ideology score and a very low leadership score. His office is in Yukon, which is just west of Oklahoma City.
“Good luck,” I said. “Lankford’s ultra-conservative on almost all issues. And the Congress-guys are also very conservative.”
“Oklahoma’s going to need lots of chocolate! A single gig to Oklahoma City will do the job,” Jay said.
South Carolina therapy will be provided by me. My major patient is Trey Gowdy. Other needy SC politicians are:
Tim Peter, Senator, Gowdy’s good friend. Govtrack ideology score: middle to right of GOP population; average to low leadership score; upstate office is in Greenville. Peter and Gowdy seem to support Ted Cruz for the GOP nomination, further documenting their ultra-right conservatism.
Lindsay Graham, Senator; office in Greenville; ideology score is slightly to left of GOP center, with a modest leadership score.
One trip to Greenville should access Gowdy, Peter, and Graham.
Texas – Jay will provide therapy to very needy Texas, focusing on Smith and Cruz.
Ted Cruz, junior Senator, was covered earlier as a presidential candidate.
John Cornyn is the senior Senator.
They are very conservative Republicans. In spite of how hard right Cruz has been on his GOP campaign, Govtrack ranks him just to the right of middle on the GOP ideology spectrum, with a sub-average leadership score. That is interesting. Govtrack puts Cornyn right of Cruz and with a stronger leadership score.
25 of Texas’ highly gerrymandered 36 districts are filled by Republicans.
“Wouldn’t it be cool to treat all Texas districts,” Jay enthused. “Maybe we could flip the state.”
“Now who’s doing wishful thinking,” I smiled. “But let’s at least do a limited workup of those Texas ‘candidates’.”
The Austin area’s five Republican districts include:
Michael McCaul, District 10: slightly right of center with a good leadership score. His district office is in Austin.
Bill Flores, District 17: very far right with low leadership; Austin office.
Lamar Smith, District 21; his details are in Chapter 9.
Roger Bills, District 25: center of the GOP distribution; office in Austin.
John Carter, District 31: right of center with modest leadership; office in Round Rock, near Austin.
San Antonio area’s six districts include two Republicans:
Lamar Smith, District 21; offices in Austin and San Antonio.
Will Hurd, District 23: almost a conservative Democrat, on far left of GOP plot with very low leadership ; office in San Antonio.
It’s about 80 miles from Austin to San Antonio – so one trip gets harmless’ attention to six needy representatives and two senators, one of which is a major presidential candidate.
Utah is a very needy state, which I know well. Although my focus will be on Lee and Chaffetz, the entire delegation is deserving of revelation enhancement:
Rob Bishop, District 1, elected 2002; denier. He now chairs the House Committee on Natural Resources, including public lands. Govtrack ideology position is similar to Chaffetz: to the right of the GOP average; leadership score is average.
Chris Stewart, District 2, elected 2012; denier. Gov track positions very similar to Bishop and Chaffetz.
Mia Love, District 4, elected 2014. Her Govtrack scores are somewhat preliminary as she was recently elected; she is to the left of the GOP average and very low on the leadership scale. Her district houses the NSA’s major Utah facility in Bluffdale.
Orrin Hatch – a very senior Senator, elected 1976; reelected for a 7th term in 2012. His ideology score is in the middle of the GOP distribution – with a high leadership score.
I’ll get to all of them via my Salt Lake City location.
Washington’s therapy will be provided by Peter and Saul. Rodgers is their primary patient.
Jaime Herrera Beutler – Washington District 3. She’s a little left of the GOP ideology average, and low leadership score. She has an office in Vancouver. At 36 Jaime is one of the youngest women currently serving in the U.S. Congress and the first Hispanic to represent Washington state in the House. She was named to MSNBC’s ‘Top 10 Latino Politicians to Watch’. Jaime attended the University of Washington, earning her Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications.
Dan Newhouse represents Washington District 4, with offices in Richland. His Govtrack scores are similar to Jaime Beutler’s. He’s a farmer – attended Washington State University, where he earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Agricultural Economics. Dan and his wife Carol have two adult children. The Newhouse family continues to operate a 600-acre farm where they grow hops, tree fruit and grapes.
Access will be via Portland to Vancouver, Richmond, and Walla Walla.
Washington DC’s therapist will be me, focusing on LaPierre, Norquist, Donahue and Justice Alito.
West Virginia therapist is Jay, focusing on Capito, with an office in Charleston.
All three West Virginia representatives are Republicans:
David McKinley, District 1, northern region, with Morgantown. He is to the right of center with a high leadership score. He’s too far from Charleston to be treated.
Alex Mooney, District 2, central part, including Charleston. He’s slightly to the left of center with low leadership; office in Charleston.
Evan Jenkins, District 3, southern part, with Lewisburg. He’s almost a Democrat, on the far left of the GOP distribution, and very low leadership efforts. Closest office to Charleston (about 50 miles away) is in Huntington, in western part of the state.
Jay is getting to Capito and the District 2 and 3 representatives via a single trip to Charleston, WV.
Wisconsin’s therapy is continuing to be handled via Bill. His key patient was and is Paul Ryan. The others are:
Ron Johnson, Senator, has an ideology score similar to Wyoming’s Barrasso, but lower in leadership. Johnson has offices in Milwaukee and Oshkosh.
- James Sensenbrenner Jr., District 5, North of Janesville, and close to Milwaukee). He has an office in Brookfield, just east of Milwaukee. He’s in the GOP center ideologically, with a high leadership score. He ran for Chair of the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology in 2012-2013 but lost to Lamar Smith
The other Wisconsin districts are not convenient to get to. Milwaukee to Janesville is about 76 miles; normal Janesville access is via Madison, about 40 miles. Bill’s access has been via Milwaukee. This next time he’ll treat Johnson and Sensenbrenner in Milwaukee, then Ryan again in Janesville.
Wyoming’s therapist is Peter, focusing on Barrasso.
Mike Enzi is other Wyoming Senator – and even further to the right than Barrasso! They both have offices in the Federal Buildings in Casper and Cheyenne. They are both on the far right of the Govtrack ideology plot. Enzi is married to Diana Buckley, has three children, went to University of Denver, and is also Presbyterian. He’s signed the Norquist no taxes pledge, is a strong supporter of the coal industry, against alternative energy, very anti-abortion, and against gay marriage. He’s also ranked very highly by the NRA.
“They’re both about as conservative as they can be,” Jay said, referring to Enzi and Barrasso.
“Casper and Cheyenne are easy to get to,” Bill said, ‘and holiday parties are coming up.”
“Just watch out for winds and ice on I-80,” I said.
Cynthia Lummis is Wyoming’s single at large representative, elected in 2009. She is very far to the right, with an average leadership core. Her district offices are in Casper, Cheyenne, and Sheridan.
“Looks like a visit to Cheyenne gets us all three,” Peter said. “I’m on it.”
We understood that the collateral people are secondary priorities. The goal is to get to the primary 29, with the hope that their treatment will be sufficient to help facilitate a political tipping point. The more of the collaterals we can treat, the greater the probability of achieving a more significant transformation – a substantive tipping point. We discussed the lists, the office locations, the travel cities, and the logistics. – and summarized the effort – state by state.
We wanted the packaging to appeal to various ideologue populations. Lucien suggested The Patriot Line of Ananda’s Chocolates – targeted for NRA/Libertarian types, like Norquist or LaPierre or their clones. Peter suggested the Ayn Rand line – picturing a beautiful, teutonic Atlas with chocolates in his large hand! There were many other suggestions, including invisible hands, red wine, cigarettes,…
“How about a special package alluding to the Pope – for other Catholics? Papa Francis did discuss empathy in his talk to Congress,” Peter said.
“Cool. Bliss, compassion, empathy – Pope Francis is all of these.”
“Maybe Hatch could partake. He used the Pope’s visit to give a set of speeches on religious freedom.”
“The arrogant bastard!” Jay said.
“The humanist columnist Luis Granados says Hatch was talking about ‘religious privilege’ – ‘the privilege of religious people to ignore laws that apply to the rest of us.’ Granados also tears apart Hatch’s massive misquoting of American history – including Mormon history.”
“Perhaps Ananda’s new Mormon Mysteries line of chocolates could help him.”
“Mysteries? or Mistakes?”
“I’ll put together an Ananda’s Chocolates template for our various ‘lines’ or sub-brands,” Lucien said. “We can easily customize the branding/labeling as needed.”
“There’s a whole new tourist industry in the Yakima area – red wine and chocolate pairing and tasting,” Peter added.
“Hey, The Leonardo is now doing similar events,” Bill said.
“Maybe Chocolates and Jello for Utah?” Jay suggested.
“Hey, have you heard about Mike Lee’s Jello with the Senator weekly parties?” Bill asked. “Wednesday afternoons, 3:30 pm, in the Senator’s DC office. All are invited.”
“You’re serious?” I asked.
“It’s official – on his web site. If he’s in town he’s there. Otherwise, his staff hosts it.”
“Since the DC Jello parties are largely over for the season, get to his local Christmas gig,” Bill recommended..
“Where and what is that?” Jay asked.
“At the State Capitol. Senate Building, from about 5 to 6 pm. Mike says in the announcement that it’s for ‘good conversation’.”
“And good chocolate!” Jay added.
“Ask him about his Heritage Foundation tirade against Obama’s climate efforts,” Bill said, looking at me.
“Changing the subject a bit – although Lee’s three kids are older, the oldest perhaps 20 or so and the other two in their late teens, here’s a serious consideration,” I said. “We want to minimize the possibility – the risk – of excess dosing – or ingestion by small children.”
“The template now includes a field for restriction or caution. For Adults Only! Recommended Dose – One per adult per day.”
“I like For Adults Only – but Only One!”
“OK – that’s what I’ll use.”
Lucien had earlier set up the Ananda’s Chocolates website, so we used the url www.anandaschocolates.com on the packaging. Tom, Lucien, and Peter – the Portland team – will finish the preparations, preliminary testing, packaging, and labeling.
We had largely finished the patient selection process, assignments, and delivery strategy and plans. harmless understands that the more patients we treat, the greater the probability we’ll be ‘discovered’ – and likely go to jail. The first such discovery will generate media attention and a huge backlash against such treatment, against moral enhancement, against MDMA. So we must be very careful – and very selective. We have selected our patients very strategically. We want each treatment to lead to a revelation – to lead to a change in behavior which itself generates media attention. We want to do this quickly but not hastily – and very carefully.
“Centennial Valley is next weekend,” Bill said. “It’s a four day event, Friday through Monday.”
“Terrific – who’s been invited and what’s the tentative plan?” I asked.
“No Oxbridge kids – too expensive to travel and too soon in their school year, but we have science teacher Thornton and Anne Reilly, her Department science chair, as well as Bill and Brittany Koch and the two youngest kids. Two folks from EPI are coming as well as Richard and Alison Kimball from VoteSmart.”
“Phenomenal. And David and Julia?”
“Yes – both, and their two younger kids.”
“And John’s planning an open-air jeep safari for all of them?”
“Of course – he’s as excited as they are. We expect the ladies – Melody, Brittany, and Julia, as well as Merry and Terry Tempest Williams – will have their own discussion and ‘light’ chocolate tasting in the Taft’s spacious family room.”
“And the politicians?” I asked. “The local Montana ones, yes – they all said they’d try, especially knowing that David Koch was planning to be there.”
“But, when Charles said he and Elizabeth couldn’t come – meaning that their kids Chas and Elizabeth R. wouldn’t either – I felt that it would be cumbersome to try to have the Koch-backed candidates without their major backer.”
“That may be fortuitous,” I said. “I’d hate to have Joni and Gail Ernst riding their motorcycles all over the refuge and the ranch!”
“Right. Or Jim Inhofe trying to land his plane on an unregulated and unmaintained nearby dirt strip,” Bill smiled.
“Or doing even more damage at the West Yellowstone airport,” Jay added.
“Say, don’t forget an Ishmael gift for the kids,” I said.
“They’re already wrapped, with their names on the packages,” Bill smiled. “I’m inviting them to a special Ishmael discussion on Sunday – after they’ve had several days to read the book.”
“We need to each have a strong alibi for what we’ve done, so if one of us gets caught, we don’t incriminate the others. We have to work independently.”
“We are loners. There is no group, no conspiracy, no organization – and thus no way to trace to others – to incriminate others.”
“We are each on our own – ideal Libertarians!”
“Once we start the extensive delivery phase of harmless, we need to communicate less and less. What little communication we do have has to be with secrecy and security.”
Harmless hit the road, just in time for the busy pre-Christmas parties – extensive travels to the major cities selected for access to the 29 and to their collateral patients. Over an extensive two week period – during a very unusual winter – we bought tickets, rented cars, and stayed in hotels, using cash, where possible. We repackaged Ananda’s Chocolates in conventional Walgreen and Walmart chocolate boxes, saying they were gifts for family, unsealed so the TSA could inspect them. Fortunately chocolate is not restricted by TSA. We minimized cell phone use, kept the GPS on our phones off, used ‘dummy’ email accounts, and generally minimized use of wi-fi and bluetooth connections.